Forever and Always
by PadronEilion
Summary: Takes place after episode 196, this is just a short story/tribute to Gray from Natsu :)


It had been a whole week since the funeral, and with each passing day Natsu was falling into a deeper and darker pit of grief and emptiness. Indeed, the entire guild was in a state of mourning; Fairy Tail's guild hall had never been so quiet. Nobody could bring it upon themselves to try and start a conversation, to slowly bring the guild back into a semblance of normality. The job request board was almost overflowing as nobody had the energy or inclination to take a job – least of all Natsu, Lucy, Erza, and Juvia. Juvia had barely been seen since the return from the city of Crocus, but when she did make an appearance it was only to sit with the other three, staring blankly into space as she tried desperately not to cry (often to no avail) while Lucy held her tightly.

Natsu, however, had been in the guild hall nearly every day since it happened, often staring desperately at the door as it he expected Gray to walk in at any moment. So far, his silent pleads (and occasionally threats) to any higher being out there had gone unanswered, and the hall remained eerily quiet. Sometimes, when the silence and the unfairness of it all got too much for Natsu, he would go out to the woods and burn anything and everything he could, all the while screaming curses at the wind. He cursed himself, for not being there to help his friend; he cursed Juvia for her infatuation with Gray; and perhaps most irrationally he cursed Gray for saving Juvia, for doing what Fairy Tail _does_ and helping those not able to help themselves. What sort of person did that make him, Natsu wondered, if he wished it had been Juvia who died? Not someone worthy of being a Fairy Tail wizard, of that he was certain.

Then there were times, like just now, where he had burnt all he could and taken as much of the ever–lasting silence as he could stand, and would find himself sitting in front of the fresh grave marked with his friend's name. Mostly he sat here in silence, albeit one which would be broken by the sounds of his sobs, but sometimes he would speak. Today was a mixture of both; Natsu could feel the tears running freely down his face, and although he did end up choking on cries when he tried to talk, that didn't stop him from getting out what he knew he needed to. Normally when he came here, he would just tell Gray about how much he and the guild missed him and how he wished he had been there to save him, but today Natsu had decided that there was something very important he had to say – something that he should have said long ago.

"Gray," he started softly, wanting to keep this as private and intimate as it really was, not as something that ought to be broadcast to the world. "Gray, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a while, but I've never had the courage. I… –" here he hesitated, unsure how to say it. Deciding that he had nothing to lose from being frank about it, he continued. "I love you, Gray. I have for so long, but how was I supposed to tell you? I couldn't risk losing your friendship over it – I couldn't risk losing _you. _But I have, haven't I? I've lost you, and I'm never going to get you back and it's killing me inside knowing I'll never get to see you again, never get to hear your voice again." Natsu had to pause again, as the tears were flowing more freely now, leaving him barely able to speak. It was starting to rain a little now, the water droplets mixing with those already on his face, and he could hear Lucy distantly calling his name from the guild, begging him to come back inside. But he had one last thing to do before he could leave.

Natsu slowly got to his feet, not once taking his eyes off the grave. "I'm sorry," he said, forcing back even more tears – he had to get this out first. "I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, that I wasn't there for you. And I know it's too late, but I want you to know that I will always be here for you now. I love you, Gray Fullbuster, and I have for so long – and I always will." As he spoke, he slowly unwound his treasured scarf and carefully placed it along the bottom of Gray's gravestone. "I _love_ you," he repeated softly as he turned away, ready now to go back to guild – he had finally said what he'd wished he could have said for years, even if he had waited until the unthinkable had happened to do so. But now he could say it freely for the rest of his days, and he _would_, every single day just to make up for having been a coward before. Now, even in death, Gray would know just how much Natsu had loved him – and _would_ love him, forever and always.


End file.
